Summer's End

In my last post, I stole, I mean, borrowed a "no whining" sign from a blogging friend. I'm trying to hold to it.

The only REALLY good thing about the end of summer is that autum arrives with all her beauty and bounty; and we can eat apples and things made of apples (which includes drinking cider.)
And we can make/eat pumpkin pies, eat pumpkin cheese cake and decorate with pumpkins.

Another pretty good thing is I get to substitute in my favorite schools, again; and get paid for it, too!

Being able to take a walk in the fields or in the woods without sweating is another good feature but it takes me awhile to get used to wearing long pants again. With all the eating I mentioned above, I better get to it.

But this autumn has been different. I am preoccupied by finding a lump in my breast and though I have prayed, had tests, had my surgeon think it was not cancer; had a biopsy (yesterday) and should have the results today, I find myself with a sick stomach and a headache. I waited until after 1pm to call the surgeon's office for the results but they are not in, yet. So I am writing to pass some time and vent some thoughts.

Finding this lump to begin with was a bit strange and almost humorous: I tried on my new "body shaper" and put it on backwards ... yes, you may laugh! When I tried to get it off, it got stuck and squashed "the girls" like nothing I had felt before except a mammogram!! Well, I managed to get out of it, spin it around and put it on correctly. Trying to take it off again, resulted in more squashing but I finally figured out how to w/o any further discomfort. (I was suddenly reminded of my mom wearing girdles.)

Anyhow, the next morning, during my shower I discovered this lump. I had checked just two weeks earlier and found nothing so this was a complete and frightening surprise. I scheduled a mammogram and ulstrasound through my GP who thought it was a cyst. The mammogram did not show anything! The ultrasound showed something but was not definitive.

It's biopsy time. Honestly, it took longer for the paperwork to be done than it did for the prep and surgery! First off, the hopital had me down for the wrong breast.... uh... no, it's my RIGHT one; the one with the lump in it!! Happily, the Dr's info was all correct so the red faced nurses corrected all the wrong info and it went all the way to the top. A very nice hospital staff, though and friendly, calming (also humorous) nurses in the OR.

And guess what? Halfway through I realzed I could see a reflection of my surgery in a small area of the overhead light!!! I watched him poke around, wipe away some moisture, (no blood because they had already cauterized the little vessels) and then suture it! When I could feel the tugging, I decided to stop watching but that was it! In and out!

I'm hoping and praying this is it; that there is no need for further tests. I've been this route before and each time I wonder if "this" time it is the big "C"... My God knows, and he has been my ultimate source of comfort during this time. It's is amazing how and when he chooses to send me "special" comfort! Passages of Scriputre that come to mind, hymns sung in church and some that just float into my head; friends contact me out of the blue; family members need a baby sitter for the weekend (really took my mind off of it!)

The worst so far, though, is that I had to be without my husband for all of this time, but God carried me through. My blood pressure didn't even go sky high! Bill was in training in New Hampshire all while I had my mammogram/ulstrasound and first visit to the surgeon; but he was with me for the biopsy and he's here with me, now. Actually, he's always with me... even when he was 5 hours away. That is the kind of relationship we have and I'm going to give God ALL the glory! Some day I'll post how He brought us together...such a cute and wonderful story!

Well, I need to get laundry done, biopsy results in or not. I'm waiting until @3 to call them back. I think I can do that.

Needing to end on a humorous note and not being able to think of anything, God just allowed my husband to turn to me and say: "We are entering the Snapdragon phase of our lives." I said nothing, but looked at him with raised eyebrows. He continued, "Part of us has snapped and other parts are dragon." HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! If you identify with this statement, please leave me a comment!!!